"My Life"

120%

“I have a theory that if you give 100% all of the time, somehow, things will work out in the end.”

- Larry Bird

Sometimes things go wrong. Like mind-blowingly, irreversibly, horrendously, crazy wrong. That’s life. But, for those of us who don’t know how to operate under 120%, things do have the tendency to work out.

Maybe it’s because we won’t have it any other way. Maybe for people like us, it works out because if it hasn’t worked out, we keep working.

And then, wadda ya know, that thing that went wrong before doesn't seem like such a big deal after all.

SIDE NOTE: Mrs. Obama feels the same way about working at 120%!

“And as I've said before, I consider myself, as many of us in this room do, as a 120 Percenter. Which means that if I'm not doing something at 120% I feel like I'm failing. And I know you all can relate to that.”

Great Moments

“We’re conditioned to think that our lives revolve around great moments. But great moments often catch us unaware – beautifully wrapped in what others may consider small ones.”

- Kent Nerburn

On the whole, I think that our society pumps us with ideas of what life “should be like” and what can make it great. And it’s normally something pretty major - winning the lottery, getting that corner office, having that perfect wedding – but I agree with this quote. Life is what happens while you’re making other plans.

Our lives do revolve around those great moments, but sometimes they’re as simple as cooking dinner together or realizing you speak better Spanish than you thought you did.

And sometimes great moments are even simpler.

Like when you’re sitting at your desk, mid day and suddenly remember a joke your uncle told you when you were 4 (and then again when you were 5, 6, 7, 8, 9…) and it makes you laugh. That’s a pretty great moment.

It’s not always about the grand gestures; sometimes it’s just about a lot of small gestures…

Season's Greatings

“To err is human…but it feels divine.”

- Mae West

Come on, you gotta love Mae West. What a sassy broad. And who knew better how exhilarating it could feel to be a little bad from time to time?

Her whole career was built around a topic that was so taboo in her time that she was censored, banned and often ridiculed but man did that lady know how to work adversity!

This is just one of her many pithy, provocative, witty quotes throughout her career, but possibly the one most that sums up her essence.

And remember, if your right leg is Thanksgiving and your left is Christmas think twice about who you invite to visit between the holidaysJ

Rah Rah Sis Boom Bah!

“Nothing is as contagious as enthusiasm…except maybe the flu.”

For all the “regulars” here at My Life in Quotes (all two of you), you may have noticed that my quotes seem to have themes for a few days at a time (e.g. love, enthusiasm, friendship, etc.). I just wanted to let you know that this is not actually intentional. As you know, I’m writing these quotes down in the order they appear in The Book and I’m just noticing that my interest in certain subject matter seems to come in phases. Well, as I’ve said before, I choose to write the quotes in order, so that’s what I’m gonna keep doin’. Just hang on and enjoy the ride.

Have you ever been in a meeting where your boss makes an announcement and you’re not totally sure how to react to it? Like a new policy or project – regardless of the subject matter, the idea is that something’s changing and you’re not sure what to think about it. And what’s the first thing you do? Glance around the room to see how others seem to be reacting, right? You need that quick temperature check to figure out how you’re feeling.

What I’ve noticed is that, in most cases, it’s enthusiasm that can win out big time in these situations. Skepticism and general pissed off-ness can be overridden if one person gets really excited about something. And that doesn’t just go for office life.

It’s really nothing new to say that a “let’s make this work” attitude can sway a crowd – heck, people make a living from doing just that (hello motivational speaking). But it doesn’t have to be a learned skill. Everyone naturally has the power to persuade others. All you have to do is show your enthusiasm and trust me, others will be happy to jump on your bandwagon.

So play off of this universal truth. Inspire someone, lead someone, encourage someone…all you need is a little enthusiasm.

How to be awesome without really trying...

“No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.”

- Eleanor Roosevelt

First off – Eleanor Roosevelt: amazing woman! Let’s just put that out there. I could write an entire book of quotes from her alone (I’m pretty sure that’s been done, actually).

Sometimes you really need a solid reminder of how right she was about this point.

No matter what others may say to us, it’s only our perception of them that influences how their words will make us feel. What I mean is, if we don’t respect them their words don’t (maybe even can’t) hurt us.

When I was younger I cared what EVERYONE thought. I mean everyone. I wanted people to think I was the nicest, smartest, coolest person to ever walk the earth. Problem was, I wasn’t actually any of those things – I mean, who is?

But I sure did try to prove I was all of those things. Meaning that most of the time I failed miserably at at least two out of the three.

So, a little known fact throughout the general population is that, regardless of how little self-awareness an 8 year old girl may have, she can spot a person acting fake or trying too hard a mile away. And she will call you on it – especially if you’re another 8 year old little girl. So you can imagine how that went for me…and probably ever other woman on the planet.

But any feelings of inferiority I had were my own problem. It was my issue, not theirs. Again, it was my own self-consciousness about not feeling “normal” and like everyone else that let what they said get to me.

And we all know how that ended up. One day I looked around and realized that no one was normal (least of all, me) and that trying to “fit in” is a losing battle. I stopped giving them the consent to make me feel inferior. I knew I was a champ. It didn’t matter what they thought.

The funny part was, once I realized I was a pretty cool chick in my own special way, they seemed to realize the same thing.

So thanks, Eleanor, for this end-of-the-week reminder that we are all pretty cool chicks and dudes and anyone who can’t see that just needs to take a closer look.

Gettin' Fired Up

“If you’re not fired with enthusiasm, you’ll be fired with enthusiasm.”

- Vince Lombardi

I don’t know if it’s because I love Fordham or because I love football or because I just really appreciate a good pep-talk, but I LOVE this quote – and have since the moment I read it on the wall of the Lombardi Feildhouse. This quote has all the essentials of one of the greats – it’s short, to the point and throws in a little word play for a twist.

But it’s also incredibly true. People like to see enthusiasm. Fire. Drive. Whatever you want to call it, it’s essential.

In a time where being flippant and cool is most socially expectable - even in regards to the most prestigious of honors - I think that good ol’ Vince sums it up nicely: if you’re not excited about doing something, someone will be more than happy to relieve you of that duty.

So next time you’re asked to do a task that you’re less than thrilled about (be it in work, sports, or general misc) before you run off in a huff, take a step back and think about just how much easier you’re making it for them to replace you.

There is always someone out there who wants it more…unless you are that person.

Can I Borrow Your GPS?

“We’re always going to the right place, just in the wrong direction.”

- Me

This one actually comes from my first attempt at playing tour guide in NYC to a friend from my hometown in IL. Even to this day I feel the need to apologize to Caroline every time I think of all the extra walking we did that week. (I really am sorry Caroline!)

In a nutshell: I knew exactly where we were going, I just had no idea which direction would get us there. OopsJ

But aside from learning that I’m directionally challenged in this quote, I think it’s important to look at it a bit more analytically.

It’s almost like an “any means to an end” kind of message. I mean, is the goal getting there, or is it getting there the right way? 

Maybe I’m turning this into something it was never meant to be, but think about it – if you get somewhere, but by going the “wrong way”, what does that mean? You made it to your destination by any means necessary, but is that a good thing? Because we all know the one about the road to h-e-double hockey sticks and what it’s paved with. I mean, you were just trying to get there, right?

Or maybe I’m way off and getting somewhere by going in the wrong direction is just a matter of being a lone curly fry. Marching to the beat of your own drummer. Taking the road less traveled and all that jazz.

I wish I knew. It would make being a tour guide that much easier. It would make life that much easier.

But for now, all I can try to do is get there. Accept that sometimes detours and roundabouts are a part of life – a part of the journey.

Sometimes you do get to the right place by starting out in the wrong direction.

All I Really Need To Know I Learned In Kindergarten

“You know things are really over when they’re truly happy…and you’re nowhere to be seen.”

- Me

First off, let me just wish you all a belated Happy MLK Day. Hope you got to enjoy a fabulous three day weekend like I did (well technically I got a 4 day weekend, but that’s because I was sick on FridayL)!

So yeah, I wrote this quote. And yes, it’s fairly depressing.

Picture it: Fordham University, 2003. A happy sophomore sits in her dorm room pondering the meaning of life and love (and watching Law & Order SVU). Almost one year after the end of her first I-love-you relationship she thinks to herself, “Hey, I wonder what he’s up to these days. How’s he doing? Did he ever get around to the whole college thing?”

It seems innocent enough. So she emails him with the above questions. She hits “send”…

And all of a sudden her heart is pounding in her throat and the room is spinning. Did she really just do that?? What is he going to think? What is he going to say? When will be respond? Will he respond? What was she thinking?!

Ok, I’ll stop talking in the third person. My Sophia Petrillo moment is officially over.

He did respond. In a pretty timely manner. In a tone that we had never used with each other before. It wasn’t mean or angry. It was glib. It was curt. It said (without saying) that he was done. He was glad I was still alive, but that was about it.

He didn’t want to pretend to be friends. He was happy. He had moved on. And so should I.

And just like that, I realized it was really over. Long over. Any fantasy I’d had about us one day meeting again after years had passed and reuniting just like the old days (as distant or unacknowledged by my psyche as they may have been) died that day.

That day, almost one year after crying my eyes out on the steps of my dorm room over the demise of puppy love and losing a little piece of my childhood, I cried again.

I cried because fairytales didn’t explain this part of love and life to me. They didn’t explain that sometimes things end…and really just end.

I cried because I knew that memories and a few faded pictures would be all I’d ever have to remember those years of my life.

I cried because I didn’t know what else to do.

He was truly happy and I was nowhere to be seen…

I’d be lying if I said I never thought about him after that day. Heck, I’d be lying if I said I didn’t still wonder how his life was going today. That’s just who I am. I like to know that the people who’ve been involved in my life are doing OK. But it’s been different since that day.

It’s more like the fond glow you put around memories of things that happened in Kindergarten – you know you’ll never get back to that time (nor do you really want to), but you appreciate it for what it was. For what it taught you.

You appreciate it for what you were able to become because you lived through it.

Breakin' the Law

“A good friend will bail you out of jail…a best friend is the one sitting next to you saying, ‘Dude, that was nuts!’”

You know how I feel about best friends, so I don’t know that I agree with this quote any more.

Again, it’s not hard to have fun with somebody. It’s not hard to get rowdy and let things go a liiiitle too far (mom, for the record, I swear I’ve never even been close to being arrested).

But think again about that person, that friend, who comes to bail you and this other clown out…out of anything.

I think this quote has it backwards. It’s not the one you got in trouble with who’s the best friend. It’s the person who dragged their tired bones out of bed at don’t-even-look-at-the-clock-because-you-might-kill-someone o’clock in the morning and comes to help you out. To rescue you. To save your ass.

That’s the best friend.

True, I’ve never even seen the inside of a jail, but I know what it’s like to be bailed out. We all do. To be bailed out by you best friends. Your life boats. Your safety nets.

So the next time you wind up in jail…or any other situation you need help getting out of…and that wonderful, saintly person comes to bail you out, take a minute to think of everything they went through to get you out of the trouble you got into after those four too many tequila shots.

…but at least they don’t have to deal with the hangover.

Enchanting Deception

“Everything that deceives also enchants.”

- Plato

Check me out, quoting two ancient philosophers in a row. The average IQ of my blog readers has just spiked. You’re welcome.

This was another tricky one for me to wrap my head around but somehow it resonated the moment I heard it.

I don’t consider myself deceitful (or very enchanting for that matter), but there’s something about this quote that almost makes deceit sound…I don’t know, sexy?

Everything that deceives…

Everything is such a huge word. It’s like never or always. There’s a lot of magnitude behind that word. But it’s true.

To pull the wool over someone’s eyes you have to enchant them. Cast a spell on them. Dazzle them. Excite them. Get them to buy into your slight of hand. To look at your left hand while you’re slipping the gold coin into your right.

That’s what it makes me think of: magic. Like Genie in the Lamp magic. Seductive magic.

But does it work the other way too? Does everything that enchants also deceive? Can anything be 100% real when it has captivated our full attention in the way that only something we call ‘enchanting’ can?

Can honesty and reality be enchanting?

The truth is, I don’t know.

For me, sometimes I want to be under the spell. I don’t want to pull back the curtain and find out the truth about Oz. I don’t want to watch Cirque du Soleil with the lights on and the music turned off. I want to be enchanted, even if I don’t know the whole truth.

But I want to be enchanted by love and have it be real (oh come on, you knew where this was heading). And maybe love can be enchanting and honest. Real and spell-binding.

So maybe it doesn’t work the other way. Maybe not everything that enchants also deceives. But one thing is for sure, enchantment sure makes deceit seem a whole lot more interesting…